A huge crowd is forming in front of the Gulfstream Hotel where poor Scud Maxwealth is hanging from a half ripped down banner. To the crowds huge relief, Maxwealth is able to work his way onto a ledge, but he is still stuck high up on the side of the building.
Windy-Runt: We’ve got to do something!
Rolaround Silver: We have a big problem. We don’t have a ladder that can reach that high.
Les Lackman: What?! Practically the entire budget of Lake Worthless goes to your department!
Rolaround Silver: What budget? Nearly all of Lake Worthless' remaining funds have disappeared and nobody can account for them. It all started back there around 2020. All of the city's departments have been drastically cut.
Suddenly the crowd parts as a huge ladder truck with the words “Andershine Aerodynamics” on the side makes its way forward. Neighborhood activist Marley Linseed is sitting on top directing the crew with her megaphone.
Marley Linseed: EVERYBODY STAND BACK! WE HAVE THIS BRAND NEW EQUIPMENT THANKS TO A VERY, EXTREMELY GENEROUS GRANT THAT I APPLIED FOR THROUGH THE LYNNLEY ANDERSHINE NEIGHBORHOOD IMPROVEMENT FOUNDATION!
Scud Maxwealth is lowered to the ground and the crowd begins to disperse.
Windy-Runt: Scud, thank goodness you’re okay! And thank goodness for Lynnley Andershine! It’s a miracle!
Hermit Robertson comes speeding up in Glug Riceballs segway taxi.
Hermit Robertson: This must be a day for miracles. I just got the news- Mayor Pim Tralala is alive!
Les Lackman: What? How?
Hermit Robertson: Tralala was thrown clear of the stadium and knocked unconscious by the explosion. In the chaos following the blast, Tralala wandered off. She didn’t know who she was. Apparently she was picked up by a truck driver and has spent the last twenty-five years working on an animal farm in Alabama.
Windy-Runt: But how in the world did she get her memory back?
Hermit Robertson: A wild sow kicked her in the head and her memory just suddenly came back. She’s on her way back to town as we speak.
A huge white helicopter lands in the road in front of the Gulfstream Hotel. Lynnley Andershine, the richest woman in the world, steps out to address the crowd.
Les Lackman: She looks like an angel!
Windy-Runt: With the sun behind that gorgeous hair of hers, it almost looks like she has a halo!
Lynnley Andershine: I have decided to open a free wellness and healing mental health facility to help the many troubled people of Lake Worthless. Bark Eastmens has asked to be our first patient. In addition, I have agreed to buy the old Lake Worthless Herald and rename it the Lake Worth Chronicles. It is time for a new beginning.
Willy Waterson, (internationally known hair model): Thank God Bark is finally getting some help.
Someone from the crowd yells, "Yes, he never was quite right...but now...he’s gone completely batty.
Les Lackman: This has turned out to be quite a day. Where to next, Windy-Runt?
Windy-Runt: I don’t know. You decide.
As the sun begins to set, Les Lackman and Windy–Runt wander aimlessly back towards the docks. A low-flying Pelican, startled by Andershine’s helicopter, drops something on Les Lackman’s head.
The End.
Or is it?
6 comments:
I get to be a hero on my own blog...who would have thought? :) Thanks Guest comedy spoofer. It was all innoculously funny and not to be taken seriously by any fictitious or non-fictitious character living or dead.
LOL. I hope this is NOT the end of the lake Worthless Chronicles. I have really enjoyed reading each day's adventures. Thanks, Lynn.P.S. we need some Segway taxis around here !
not funny , boring, childish, needed some profanity by katie and some tears from wapoles.
You're just pissed that you didn't get mentioned in the Chronicles.
Rah Rah, more!
hahahaha
The little darlings of personal attacks are crying foul over a spoof. Oh dear.
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